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Nicky-bel woke me up at 6.50am in the morning. Lucky for her if not I'm bound to oversleep. Mike and I waited for Mikey-bel at her block around 7.50am. I was surprise when Nicky-bel actually came along. Didn't really expect her to come. Anyway was pretty amusing to see Mike blushed. Its been ages since I get to see the shy side of Mike.

After training Mike send Mikey-bel to Hougang central while I send Nicky-bel home. Kind of regretted asking them to join us for training as they were pretty bored. Guess I'll not ask them along next time. So inconsiderate of me. As expected Nicky-bel and I did not go out together after training. She's tired and she's not feeling well. Guess its impossible for us to have one enjoyable and proper outing but its alright since I've always used to being alone. So Mike Jia wei, Irvin, Yu Fu and I went to Vivo to slack. Its been ages since we went out together. We've been pretty lame and crazy for the whole day. As expected I did emo for a couple of times but its alright as its common to see me emo. Don't really know why there's so many things that keep bugging me and making me feel so moody. Why can't life be like what I wanted! I've tried to be optimistic and look things in a positive way but I still failed to do so. Guess emo is part of me now......

Hurt myself during training. The injuries seems to be much serious than I actually expected. Hope that my injuries will healed before monday. As I've got rely much on my hands on my first day of work and I would like to leave a good impression for my boss. I'm so bloody anxious about my first day of work!! Hope everything will be fine and go smoothly.


09Nov07

Woke up early as today as Mike told me that he will be coming to my house around 10am in the morning. I've planned to let my parents have a look at his Thai Buddha amulet and in the meantime he can also have a chance to take a look at my father's collection of buddha. Due to some reasons Mike was late and he arrived at my doorsteps with Shirley and ZiYi. As expected he was pretty amazed by the number of Buddha collection my father had. Just for your information I don't really allow my friends to come to my house but as for Mike its a different story.

After having a look at my father's collection of Buddha we guys set off to Beach road. As our objectives of the day was to get ourselves some new clothes. I've prepared $150 for that day as I was somehow planning a total makeover. Instead of wearing baggy jeans I decided to try out the skinny jeans. I planned to get myself a skinny jeans, few clothes to match with my skinny jeans, a cardigan and a pair of shoes for that day. After shopping for an hour or so around Beach road I manage to get myself 2 sets of clothes and 2 pair of ankle socks. The clothes were some how different from the ones I used to wear. As for the socks I managed to get myself a pair of red and purple socks. In fact I think its pretty lame for me to buy those 2 pairs of socks but who cares I like it! Anyway I came across a pair of shoes which actually caught my attention. I really love the shoe as I think it goes pretty well with skinny jeans but its $49! Completely out of my budget so maybe one day I'll return to the shop to get myself that pair of shoes if I ever get to earn enough money during the holidays.

After getting what we wanted in Beach road we bused down to Penisula to continue our hunt for clothes. I got myself a black skinny jeans and a cardigan from the same shop in Penisula which cost $45 in total. Though the shop's pretty small and narrow but I like their service and attitude. After getting what we wanted in Penisula we took a train down to Amk. Managed to get myself a shade, shoe and a necklace for my Buddha amulet. After buying the things we wanted we bused home as we're exhausted. I spent about $130 plus altogether. Though its a tiring day but I really do enjoy it at least I manage to got what I wanted. To our surprise Mike and I bought quite a number of things compared to Shirley and Ziyi. I guess when I say I want to shop I do really shop! Guess I really got to earn back what I spent today during the holidays.

After leaving all my shopping bags at home I rushed to meet Mike and Ziyi as we're going to the temple. To my surprise when they saw me they can tell from my expression that I was piss off. I was surprised that they knew what happen before I even tell them. Was kind of shocked to find her crying. Didn't really know what I've done or what gotten into me. Sorry is all I can say. I'm such a idiot. Maybe I'm not that good after all. Useless me. All I know that I was feeling freaking vexed. Thanks to the help of Mike and Christabel everything is alright now. Reached the temple around 9.30pm but we're late as its closed. Went to Kovan to slack for about 2 hour or so and went to block 631 for a drinking session. Almost got myself drunk but lucky Mike help me with the rest of the alcohol.

Am I expecting too much from her? Am I expecting too much from a 14 year old girl? Am I too inconsiderate? I just hope that things will get better. I'm craving for more care, concern as well as some attention. Hope that I can sense more love from her. I've never felt so insecure before. I love her but does she really love me?
得到人但却得不到心