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Perhaps you guys have gotten me wrong. It's not the love for her that keep me going. Its the vengeance, the hatred . Hatred for my foolishness and stupidity. Its the hatred for everyone that have kept me going. Before I knew it I'm left with nothing but hatred and sorrows.

I need another prescription.

Will I ever be spared from the pain that*have left me with? The chaos that have been left in my life isn't as simple as you guys think. Will I be pain free if I drowned myself with all the sorrows that*have left me with. All I ever wanted was to become stronger so that I could prevent the history from repeating and forget the pain have ever existed. But pain comes naturally whenever I see the scars that*have left me with. What have I done to deserve such inhuman punishment that has crippled me. Yes, I'm handicapped, because I've lost the ability to love. Years have passed but the wound is still fresh and deep. I doubt time will be the best medicine for its has proven to be not much of a use. I need another prescription.

You're the one
who took my smile away...
*She

I'm hungry for more power. I want to learn Mixed Martial Arts but will it affect my MuayThai training? I've the sudden urge of joining Evolve gym, their facility is so much better than fightg. But the prices for Evolve Gym seems to be quite expensive, too expensive for me to afford and besides I'm starting to develop some sense of belonging to fightg.... Will learning so much of martial arts make me a stronger person?

My hatred is increasing. I felt like destroying every single thing that's in my path and turn them into dust. That's provided if I'm given enough power to do it. Vengeance is the only stuff in my mind. Is it common to feel this way or is it only me?

Endure the pain...
Hide it...
Keep it close by my side...
That's how I become stronger...

As expected my team lost the basketball match today. I never once thought that we'll have the chance to win the match today. I've not played basketball for like 2 months so I wouldn't be that naive to think that a miracle would actually happen.

Anyway, I'm considering about disbanding the team though. Everyone seems to be too busy for basketball. Times flies and we're not the happy go lucky students that we used to be anymore. Time have been quite restricted ever since we left our secondary school. We don't have the time to train during weekends and after school anymore. We got our own responsibilities. Terence, Jia Wei and others have the responsibilities to protect our country while for Han Song, Irvin, others and I, we've got school and work at the same time. I guess Bao Feng life is going into an end soon. I'll cherish the precious moments with them. They'll always be part of my memories, be it the happy or the sad ones....

Sigh. Its seems like I was wrong again. I thought that I'm still as fit as before but I guess I was wrong. I overestimated my body and almost got myself killed in Muay Thai training. Due to the injuries on my ankle I've not done any exercises for the past 2 months. When I said that I've not done any exercises I mean running too. Almost blackout by doing some simple workout just now but lucky no one notice it. I guess I really do have some potential in acting. ^^ Anyway my body have stiffen up and I wonder how am I going to answer to my team mates tomorrow. Hope that everything shall goes well during the basketball match tomorrow.