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The higher the expectation the harder the disappointment. How true. Maybe I should not hold any expectation in my life then I'll not be disappointed. But if I don't hold any expectation in my life then what's the point of living. Life would be meaningless then. Perhaps the reason I'm brought to this world is to bring laughter to others and locked all my pains and sorrows to only myself. I should really brush up my acting skills and work on my laughter as well as my smile. If not it'll seems so impossible to hide my unhappiness away even if I'm trying my very best to feign a smile. Life is about acting and lying I guess. An act to show others how invulnerable and confidence we are and lies to cover our flaws and weaknesses...

Damn. There's going to be a reshuffle for full timers next month. Part timers like me will still be located at our own outlets. My new colleagues and in charge are twice as strict as my old colleagues which means I'll not be leaving the store as often as I did before. I can't drop by Lafon whenever I feel like it. =( And that really make working less fun.

Feeling kind of moody today. Part of it is because it's Irence last day at Vivo as she'll be relocated at Tampinese Mall for the next six months. I'm gonna miss her. The other part of it shall be a secret unrevealed. Who cares about my mood anyway? After all I'm just a nobody. I'm too insignificant to be noticed at all. Too insignificant to be cared for. Wait a sec... perhaps I'm not as insignificant as I thought. Perhaps I'm a pest, a nuisance to others, a pain in their ass. Great.

The KFC smell lingers

Damns. Why is the KFC smell haunting me?! Am I so badly addicted to it? Shit. My mouth's watery now. Oh tian ar... How am I suppose to sleep like this!!!

It seems like I'm going on a hunger strike. I've only ate one meal for today. As for yesterday I had two pieces of biscuits for breakfast at about 10am in the morning and KFC for dinner at 9pm in the night. I hope by doing this I can manage to cut down some fats.

A hungry man is indeed an angry man. I had a hard time tolerating Edwin's attitude today. For the whole afternoon I've been talking to him in a sarcastic way. I don't know if he realise that cause I'm really trying my very best to show him some respect as he's still a full timer.

As I'm typing this, my stomach's growling... =.=

I really must learn how to control my temper before I hurt anyone including myself. Geez... I wonder when can I learn to see things like a grown up. I'm still as reckless as before. Why do I always let my emotions take control of me? Why do I always act without thinking of the consequences? I'm really trying very hard to change for the better but it's not easy to abandon the childish and irresponsible part of my character.

Whenever I see my reflection in the mirror, I always ask myself the same questions over and over again. Why am I such a loser? Why can't I lead a happy life like the others? Why am I such a failure? What did I do to deserve all this?

All I ever wanted was a healthy life, a happy life, a wealthy one, a bright future, a stable career, a bunch of great friends and a wonderful soul mate. But in the end I failed to get either the things I've asked for. Healthy life? I'm not sure if I am healthy at all. Happy life? I doubt that I'm happy now. Talking about wealth I'm working like a dog when everyone is enjoying their holiday. Bright future? I'm now stuck in ITE so do you think that I've a bright future! I don't think a part time job is consider as a stable career. Talking about a bunch of great friends how do I know how great they are when I've been back stabbed by my best friend? A wonderful soul mate for me? I doubt she ever exist...

How can I be able to break this curse of mine? Who will be there to lend me a helping hand and show me the path to success?

No matter how many friends we have, we'll still be relying on mostly ourselves when we're face with difficulties. No one will help to watch our back for us neither will they show us a path of light when we're lost. We've got only ourselves to rely on. Yeah that's right. I always thought that no matter what happens friends will always be there for one another but I was proven wrong time after time. As expected I used to be very naive or should I say I've always been pathetically naive all the time.

For instance, I've always thought that no matter what happen Mike and I will be best buddy forever. I'll watch his back and he'll watch mine. I'll be there to lend him a hand when he falls and he'll be there to show me some hope when I'm lost. But look what happen we almost tore each other apart though we've manage to savage our friendship but still it's not as strong as before. Whenever I'm met with obstacles, I'm most likely to be alone. No one will be there to spoon feed me or what. I've got to learn how to survive in this cruel world and heartless society on my own.


No matter what happens I'll fight alone!

Alright. I admit I did cry after watching this video. Oh man. It's really great to have my blog hidden. I can blog almost everything out! Work was fun today. I've manage to sold quite a number of watches with some help from my colleagues.^^ It's great to work in the morning shift as time past faster than I expected. The only problem is that I've no where to go after work. I guess I should plan my program carefully.

Anyway I've just been inform that my schedule for tomorrow will be change to afternoon shift instead of morning. Awww... I love morning shift. =( It seems like I've no more morning shift for the rest of the month. I'm so looking forward to my next month schedule.

The date for the release of my results is getting nearer. I really don't want to know how badly I've done for my exams. =( I hope I don't get anything lower than 3.5 for my GPA.

It's been 2 month plus since I've broke up with Amy. I hope she's doing fine. Damn! I felt like a jerk breaking her heart but we're really aren't incompatible. Our views and way of doing things is so different. Too different. I really do appreciate the love she has given me but I'm sorry that things had turned out this way.

Does true love exist even for people like me?

For once I hid my blog from every single soul out there. I know no one likes my pessimistic way of looking at life but being pessimistic have always been part of my character. You can't just expect me to kick this habit away. It's impossible!

Anyway the chefs in cartel and as well as my colleagues there told me that I've expand in my size and I've also turn fairer. =( Sigh. I'm those people who will turn fairer day by day so how can you all expect me to stop turning fairer when I've not played basketball for like 2 months!

So I decided to give myself a project. Lets call it project "fitto". I'm going to cut down on my junk food and exercise regularly. It would be better if I'm able to develop some muscles during the process.

Project Fitto starts today. Went for to jog around Punggol park for about 2 rounds and mess with some of exercising equipment before going home. Tried to learn how to hula hoop today but it seems that my hula hoop was too light. So maybe I'm going to buy a better hula hoop tomorrow. Haha. I think I've got to think twice about getting myself a hula hoop as my ear piece fail to work again. Which means I've got to buy a new one again! Due to some reason my cartel's pay won't be in till next week. So I've really got to keep track of my expense. =/

Wish me luck in my careers, studies and as well in my life. =)

I'll probably be a loner forever...

The Last Post

I've been busy working lately. It's been ages since I've taken up 2 jobs. I don't think I'll like to give you guys more details about the new job of mine. My purpose of blogging today is to let you guys know that I'll be hiding my blog from you guys soon. I just want to be alone.....

Only a few will know about the add

I don't know what has gotten into me lately but I've realise that I'm easily irritated these past few days. I'll appreciate if you guys could respect my privacy and leave me alone. Don't test my patience.