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Sigh. I'm back from school and I'm going out later in the evening. I know its kind of early to blog now but I just can't help it, I've a sudden urge of blogging now. Nothing much happen in school today except that I've made Tricia cry today. Its not I did it on purpose though. As usual my actions work faster then my brain. I wasn't like this months ago, perhaps my self control is weakening. What I did only was throwing a light punch on her arm when she crack a joke on me. I did not expect her to hurt that much till tears roll down her cheeks. Perhaps to me it was light but I bet it was a pretty heavy punch for her to make her cry. I did not realise the tolerance of pain between guys and girls was so huge. Remember me posting something about me that was dangerous weeks ago? I'm no kidding about it. I guess its better for me to keep away from others before I hurt them again. HAHA. I'm a Monster! LOL

Twilight

OH MY GOD~~~~
CAN U GUY BELIEVE WHAT I'VE FOUND!
AWW~
I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can you guys believe it? I've manage to complete a book of 500 pages within twenty four hours!? I got myself the second book of Twilight, New Moon yesterday right after school. I just could not wait for my school to end yesterday. I failed to get my book during lunch time as the book have been sold out and it seriously affect my mood. So I just had to try my luck at East Point instead. I guess I'm seriously obsessed with the books. I've already started reading my new book before I'm out of East Point and I got my eyes glued on the book on my journey home. I was so anxious to know what has hidden for me in the new book that I've just bought. I was kind of shocked that it was 2am and I reluctantly put the book aside and went to bed. As expected I was late for school the next day. It was ten plus when I woke up and school starts at eight. welldone

Though it was pretty cool to finished reading a book such thick but it's quite exhausting actually. I've bought the third book, Eclipse already but I got to slow down my pace as there's only one more book to go and everything will be over.

Anyway, Cherlyin was right the first 18 chapters of the New Moon was pretty sad. Edward the vampire broke up with Bella as he thought that it would be better for her to live in her human world. The things that Bella went through were somehow quite similar with what I went through last year except for the voice in the head part though.

While I was reading I thought of the things I went through last year. I'm not sure how coincidence things can be but when I look up at my calender its was 26th August plus it was raining outside. The freezing wind that blew against my body somehow make me remind me of the pain I went through last year. Somewhere around 26th August last year I remembered that I was in the rain crying like an idiot for some stupid reason. Thinking back, I was amused with my stupidity, how naive and fragile I was back then. But now looking at my relflection I'm so much indestructable compared to what I was last year. I'm not a prey anymore, a hunter is what I've became.

Though I've became a hunter but will the pain I've went through be forgotten or will it be with me forever? This I can't really be too sure but at least I'm positive in one thing....
Pain will make us stronger....

Back from my Wei Qi competition. I managed to won four rounds out of seven. I'm seriously not in a very pleasant mood today. I'm not sure if it's due to the weather or the competition. Plus I wasn't really in the mood for competition. I wanted a few hours to myself so that I can finish reading my new book, Twilight which I just bought yesterday. Despites all the distractions I've managed to complete reading 3 hundred pages out of 4 hundred plus pages today. Part of the reason that ruin my mood for the competition got to do with the weather it makes me feel like sleeping and the part of the reason was I felt disgusted with my team mates.

I mean why must they always rely on me to do everything. Can't they fight like a man and earn the fucking trophy themselves instead of relying on others. So what if I'm the strongest in College East Wei Qi club that doesn't mean that I must be the one doing everything. Come on this is not some Basketball or Soccer competition? There's no need for teamwork! When we're out on the chess board we've got no one to rely on except ourselves. And for your information I've been through much competition than you guys ever did. I know roughly what time the competition starts so stop rushing when there's still plenty of time! Fuck up with my attitude? This is who I am! Not pleased with my attitude? Brush up your NOOBY skills and get the trophy without my help then. And please respect my way of doing things. I don't like mixing around with others during competition I like to be alone and not to be disturbed. Oh ya I simply detest those who distract me from reading a book, playing a game and as well as eating by myself be it Tom, Dick or Harry.

How great can it be? A " Machine" falling sick due to some part time work after school can you guys believe it . Pathetic weakling is what used to describe people like me. Sigh. I've just been inform that OFA Exam will fall on the 3rd Sept and there will also be some Mock test before the exam. How great can it be? Fuck seh

Anyway, our "Da Jie" Jeslyn finally shown us part of her true self today. One percent of her Ah Lian character that has been asleep inside her. Cool. It was kind of unexpected. Most of us were shocked but even though she's pissed with someone, she still look so cute and funny. I bet it's in her genes. No matter what I'm siding her. I'm leaving all the vocals fight to her and I'll be handing the physical fights. And to Tricia, hopefully everything will be over before you knew it. Don't think too much as it's pretty common for couples to quarrel in a relationship. So cheers!

Should I put a birthday wish list on my blog?

I've just got back from work. Its a great thing that there's not much people on weekdays than on the Friday's and weekends. I hope for the next few days there will be not much customers in cartel. Working after school is really very tiring. Especially you've got school from 8pm to 5pm and to make things worse there's SW tomorrow! Just for your information if you guys do not know what SW is. SW is known as physical education in secondary school. I can't imagine how life will be like for the next 3 weeks. May god bless me. Oh ya some stupid water managed to get into my shoes again! Argh. Looks like I've got to wear some stupid wet shoe to work tomorrow. I guess its expected for water to enter my shoes as the holes underneath the shoe is so freaking obvious. How pathetic can I be? I can't believe the problem in my wrist came back and my shoulder have not really started to heal. What should I do? I need money!!!
I really hate smokers! No offense but I think they stink! Blame it on my sensitive nose if you want to.

I'll work till I collapse...
I'll keep fighting till I'm destroyed...
If by feigning a smile can hide my pain...
I'll do so...

As I've realise that I'm not a human...
For I've not been treated like one...
I'm something without a heart...
without respect...
without emotions...
I'm a...
Machine

Running out of time!

Three more weeks to go and I've got to sit for my AFD and BFD EXAMS!!! One more week to my fucking WeiQi competition. Ten more days I'll be celebratiing Nicole's and my birthday in advance. 3 weeks later I've got to sign up for Muay Thai courses at Fight G and I've got to hunt for some new clothes too. And most importantly within this three weeks I really should cut down some of my excess fats!!!!!!

Sat for my AFD CA paper today. I'm sorry to say that getting an A for AFD seems to be quite impossible this time round. If I'm lucky enough I may get a B for AFD. Getting 3.8 and above for my GPA seems to be so impossible now. Perhaps I'll not be able to get enrolled into poly for the rest of my life. 3 more weeks to BFD and AFD exams and I've not even started studying for any of them yet. (>.<)

Friends come and goes.

Friends come and goes. It's actually not surprising to lose contact with some of the closest friends around you. Everyone seems to have a hard time keeping up with work as well as school so I don't see how are we suppose to maintain our friendships when all of us have so much to do in such little time. The older we grow the lesser time we'll have for our friends. The friends around us keep increasing and the time we have for one another seems to be decreasing. Plus how do we know that which one of them is truly loyal to us.


What is life? Why are there so many regrets in it? Why didn't we cherish the time we have for one another when we have the chance to? What are the purpose of our life? Will there really be friends forever? I want my life back! My friends, the ample amount of time I used to had and my laugher back. I'm so tired of feigning a smile and bury myself with work to forget the naive questions in me that we'll never be answered. REH GNISSIM MORF FLESYM POTS TNAC I

Some random shots to show how bored I am in school.
Anyway BFD role play didn't went as well as I prayed for but still we've done a good job. Alvin Wong said that we would as least get a B for the role play but if it's an A we would like to ask for, he must still observe how well the other team did. I really hope we'll scored an A.

Well if you guys think that everything will be over, you're wrong. I've got to prepare for my AFD CA which falls on next Friday. Plus we've got to hand in about 8 pages of live journal of what we've learn and a copy of a movie review by next Wednesday! Darn it! One after another. To make things worse I've go to work from Thursday to Sunday. Sigh. Hope everything will end before I knew it. I mustn't give up!

I've managed to get my bursary today. The financial crisis I was facing weeks ago have temporary been solve but still I must really learn not to be too spendthrift. If not I've got to face another financial crisis before I knew it. Anyway I did something which I'm really proud of today. I did not spend a single cent for the entire day! Tried to control my hunger by skipping meals and perhaps I could have some cup noodles for dinner. But I guess Nicole or should I say that everyone can tell that I'm very hungry cause I can't stop myself from complaining about how hungry I am. So she treat me some Roti prata and curry chicken for lunch. ^^ I don't know why, perhaps I'm really very hungry but the lunch was extremely delicious! Thanks Nicole!

Oh ya here's some update about my weekend last week. Went to Plaza Sing Nicole, Desmond, Joshua and Dennis on last Saturday. We had our lunch and dinner together, went to catch two movies and last but not least we went to K Box too! Met up with them at 2.30pm and we played throughout the night and got home at about 7am in the morning. All of us was so shocked that we spend about $100 on that day. Heartache man! What in the world was I thinking?! Anyway I was kind of surprise to know that Khai Ying was in Plaza Sing as there was a event held by her school. Saw Mike, Jun Long, Yong Rong etc at PS too. It's so bloody coincidence. It's like a reunion for some of us. Sigh. I really do miss the old times.... =(

I guess I'm running out of "stamina". I'm being to get tired of everything. Work, study, friends as well as my passion for basketball and chess is indeed too much for me. I can't believe I actually flunk my class test, not once but twice! I don't know how long I can take this anymore.

Everyone's trying to help me get through this rough period. My teachers, friends and as well as my managers at work. I really do appreciate their help but in the meantime I'm also afraid that I'll let them down by not meeting up to their expectations. I thought that by giving up my relationship will make my work load lighter but I guess I was wrong. Everything did not change for the better at least for the moment everything is still the same. Everything is still as worse as before.

Hope everything will be alright soon.

There's always a darkness before a dawn....