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Another Emo Post

Are you guys happy with your life and satisfied with how things are? I don't know if you guys do feel the same way as I do but I'm sorry to say that I'm so not happy with my life, I'm not at least satisfied with how things are or even content with what I have.

I don't know why but I've got a feeling that there are some things that are missing in my life. I feel that life's pretty meaningless and I just really can't help feeling sad and empty most of the time. Trust me, I've tried my best staying cheerful most of the time but still I failed to do so. I've been trying real hard to look at things in a optimistic way but still I just can't help being pessimistic.

I really would like to make a difference in my life but how? I've wasted much time and I'm already somehow starting to regret it. How I wish that I'm just 13. It's true that we don't really get to do much things at that age but at least there's a chance for me to set things right. Who knows that maybe I'll be still in the express stream. Everything will be different if I had not dropped into the normal stream. Maybe I'll be happier, maybe.

Heard that cartel's cutting down manpower which means we don't really get the chance to work whenever we feel like it. I think that probably defeats the purpose of me staying in cartel as the main reason I joined cartel is because I get to work whenever I feel like it. So if they're really cutting down manpower then maybe I shall leave and look for another job. Maybe I should try either retail or sales. At least it'll be slacker and there'll be some commission. I guess I'm really a pretty spendthrift person as I've already started planning of what to spend on before I even get to receive my latest pay. Time and time again I've tried to remind myself not to be so spendthrift and time and time again I failed to do so. Hopeless.

Anyway I gave William my schedule for next week and it was like hardcore. I told him that I would like to work from 11.30am to 10pm from Monday to Friday and 8am to 5pm on Sunday. i wonder if he'll allow me to work during those timing. You guys may think that I must be crazy to give him that timing but sorry to say that I rather earn some money than spending my off day alone.

If it weren't for Khai Ying I guess yesterday would be another boring off days for me. Roaming around town alone isn't as cool as it sounds. I think its pretty pathetic and idiotic. Really enjoy going out with Khai Ying at least I need not have to put up much act like in front of her. Miss the old days.

Please take my loneliness away...