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Naive

Maybe what Meiqi said was true. I'm indeed too naive. Its 21st century for god sake I should have been more realistic. If I've been more realistic none of this would have happen. If I've took some precaution and not trusted them completely none of this would happen. Everything will still be going well. At least I would like to think that everything will be fine.

Like what Vivien said though I'm appeared to be alright but the fact is my heart's crying. I cried not just because I'm hurt or in pain, I cried because I'm disappointed that I was being betrayed. I was being betrayed by someone whom I least expect to betray me. What he said to me are just a pack of lies. Everything was an act. I should have known. I should have see it coming. God make me exceptionally sensitive for some reason and yet I did not make full use of my gift.

I've no idea why I've a hard time suppressing my anger whenever I see her. I just can't pretend that nothing has happen and smile at her as though every thing's fine. Cause it's not. I'm just furious that how can she act as though nothing has happen in front of me. Worse still she's going after my best friend in front of me. How can they ignore my existence. I really hate them, I really do. How can he be enjoying, how can she be enjoying, how can they be enjoying while I'm here suffering in pain. Fuck

I've should have known. I shouldn't have tried to run away from my fate, my destiny. For I'm destine to be a loner no matter what. After all nothing last forever. Be it relationship, kinship and as well as friendship. Everything will ends its just a matter of time. In the end we'll still be alone when we're buried in our graves. All of us will be long forgotten someday. A loner is what we'll become. Its our destiny our fate. Or at least that's mine. A loner I am, a loner I'll be, for I'll be alone for the rest of the eternity.

Friends come and goes. So maybe its time for us to part. Maybe its time for me to leave. As I'm not needed anymore. I'm now only a hindrance to you while you've now become my pain.

I don't really know if I did matter to her at all. Maybe it was just a game to her after all. Or was it just a crush? Somehow I need some more time before I could really face her. Or at least accept the fact that she's fallen for others.

loneliness knows me by name