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Nicholas
5thSept
Virgo




Dec 1, 2007 2:45 AM

My Love Life



Out of curiosity I went into a relationship when I was only 13years old. I did not really get into a relationship because I love the girl. As expected I was too young to know what love is. I only know that those who are attached seems to be so blissful, happy and loving. I wanted to be loved, to be cared for, to know whats love is all about but I guess I was still too young to get a taste of what love is. We did not went out together as we were still young during that time and our freedom was being restricted.My first relationship ended before I knew it. I was shocked that she broke up with me. It only lasted for about 2 weeks! In fact if I did not recalled wrongly it ended during the tenth day.

When I was 15, I fell for the girl next class. Her smile never fails to brighten up my day. I tried to know her better and get closed to her. I tried to conquer her heart but I failed. Friends told me not to give up and I don't want too either. I tried again and again and I failed time after time. Before I knew it 2 years has passed and I was rejected by her for the 14th time. The pain from rejection always seems to get stronger. As I was too weak to take any more blows so I gave up. During the 2 years of courtship she has always been the most important in my life. So I thought I may not loved again. I thought she'll always been most important to me.

I went into my 2nd relationship when I was 17. We were just pure friends at first but some things are just beyond our control. After much persuasion from friends I decided to ask her to be part of me as there were rumors saying that she's fond of me. I sounded her for stead on the 14 of feb which is the valentine day. The reason I asked her on that particular day because I think seldom people have the chance to get attached on the valentine day and I wanted the number 14 always to be remembered. I wanted to remind myself not to be so foolish, I wanted to remember the girl who rejected me for 14 times. During the 2 years of courtship, the number 14 has become a part of me. I admit that I did not have much feelings for my 2nd ex the first place but feelings were developed when we're together. Times with her were happy though there were some unhappy moment. Till now I still remember the warmth of her hands. The way we held each other hands though it lasted for a short moment but it's not forgotten. We ended on the 7th of march. I broke up with her on our 3rd week as I did not felt any love from her. I was desperate for more care and concern then.

A year passed and many things have happened. On the 9th of August I make a friend on that day. Never did I expect her to make a difference in my life. I fell for her unknowingly and we're unbelievable attach on our tenth day of friendship, 18Aug. I thank god for letting her into my world. She make my world revolves, she gave me a reason to live on, she let me know what's love is like. She make me felt loved and wanted. She make me felt something I never felt before. But sad to say good things don't last. Everything ended on the 4th day! She told me she's used to wiping her tears off herself. She chose her friends instead of me. She wanted more freedom. My world collapse when she left me. I've never felt so despaired before. Bloods and tears were shed for her. Tears that have been sealed up for 6 years run down my cheeks as though they were nothing. Though it may seems unbelievable but the days with her was the happiest thing I did in my life. Sometimes I really do wonder why god took her away from me? I wonder if she really did love me before? Are what she said just lies? All am I too bloody naive! The words she said to me will never be forgotten. Though time will heal but I'm sure scars will still me left. She'll aways be remembered. She's the only one who can bring me down. She's the only one who can hurt me so deeply. She's the one who create a chaos in me. Was being with her a mistake? If it is why must it be corrected!? And so I've become her 14th ex.....

Tried many ways to forget her but somehow I still failed to do so. So I'm left with the last choice and that is to fall for others. I was attached with my 4th and last ex on the 2 Nov. Her birthday lies on the 14th of Oct. On our 4th day of friendship we were already more than friends. As everything happened faster than we thought so we did not really know each other well. My trust for her was extremely little. Our expectation for each other was different too. We kept having conflicts and we often quarreled. Feelings were developed for her faster than I thought too. And its stronger than I imagined. Though its not as strong as the previous but still she has the power to hurt me. Or am I just too weak, too fragile? She asked for a break up on our 18th day. As expected nothing last more than a month. Maybe I'm simply cursed. Or is 14 a bad sign for me.....