Firstly, I think girls are selfish creatures! They always claims that we guys did not really spared a thought for them but have they really spared a thought us? Have they really thought about our feelings? After what we've did for them all we get are scolding, dissatisfaction, disappointment and pain in the heart! As for example, after what Mike have done for Davina has she ever appreciate it before? Mike has done alot for her and all I could see was pain in his heart. After what Alnin did for ZiYi has she ever appreciated him when he's around? I did so much for her too and in the end she still left me! I know that in love there's no such things about how much we give or take! But is it the one who give in the most considered to be the weaker ones? The stupid ones?

Secondly, she said that she has already spared a thought for me by breaking with me before O levels. But does she really thinks that its better this way? Does she thinks that I'll really do better by breaking with me before O's. Do you guys think that I can pick myself up in time for the O levels. Don't she knows that how weak am I mentally? In my point of view she could tell me whats bothering her. She could let me know her dissatisfaction towards me. At least give me a chance to change and who knows everything will be fine after my O's. Damn it! I guess our point of view is different. She said that she has not come across guys like me so she don't really know how to communicate with me. But does she really thinks that I've come across girls like her? Does she thinks that I'm really a pro in relationship?! She said I stalked her because I came looking for her house after breakup and I also came looking for her after school on monday. Bloody hell. Have she spared a thought for me? Have she ever thought that after the breakup I would know what to do? Does she thinks that everybody is so experience like her during breakups? There's already a big different between our number of exs! And I agreed that it was my fault for being too reckless. TOO FCUKING RECKLESS! Khim told me that in a relationship there's no right or wrong. Don't really know whats it means but still somehow get what she meant. Maybe I'm just still too immature in a relationship.

My hearts tells me that she still love me but by theory, by logic, by her actions she don't! Only she, herself knows the best. I don't know if she has ever been serious in this relationship before but no matter what its over! She don't love you anymore! WAKE UP NIC! Remember her looking into your eyes and telling you that "I DONT LOVE YOU!". Face reality! I know the truth hurts but no matter what you still got to wake up one day. So why not wake up now? I know its Fcuking difficult for you to let go! Letting go has always been an exceptionally difficult task for you. But you have to let go! Like how you let Hui Xian go! All you got to do is keep moving forward and don't look back! Don't ever look back cause she won't be there anymore!

Stop telling yourself you love her!
Cause she don't love you!
Stop telling her that you need her!
Cause she don't need you!
Stop telling others you can't forget her!
Cause she's forgotten about you!
Stop saying that she'll return!
Cause she wont!
Stop deceiving yourself!
Cause you'll face reality one day.

Let go! Whats done is done no point brooding over it! Stop wondering if she's ever serious about this relationship! Cause its history now! Its past tense! Stop blaming her! Stop trying to turn your love for her to hatred as its impossible for you to do it. Just thanks her for the wonderful memories. Thanks her for making you a stronger person!

Please someone please SLAP me till I wake up from this dream!
FUCK!
She's not coming back ever ever again!
Why can't I just fucking let go!
Na Bei Chee bye!
Why am I so weak!
So fucking weak!
Kanina!
I'm a guy!
I must be strong!!!!!!!

ARGH!
FUCKING NABEI CHEEBYE